"he was somewhat overzealous with talks of bowling, seafood dinners with his parents, and anal pleasures"

"we agree to be open in matters in and around each other's butts"

"How about you take the two you were going give me and take the one i wasn’t gonna give you along with the 2 dollars and shove them."

"Why don’t u just say I’m a shoemaker for Cinderella?"

"I have definitely never commited murder or decapitations or impalement on anyone and did not move because the smell of decaying flesh was becoming too obvious in my small one bdrm apartment."

"Just as the kangaroo’s pouch overfloweth with fish, my heart swells to see this depiction of a story as old as time."

"I will honk again today when I get off the exit so be waiting for your blueberry"

"Feel free to text me for anything and lets set up a meeting so that I could take your kidney."

"His fries are crispy, but don’t have a strong flavor. An old salty spud like Chip wouldn’t fit his flavor profile."

"I pictured one stabbing me and throwing ME in the oven!"

"a number of originals from the Penguin Holistic Artistic Rehabilitation Team (PHART) were recently duplicated by unknown means and we are concerned that there may be a plot to undermine their value in auction based fundraising."

"I appreciate your concern for the potential negative impact this reprobate wurst might have on my young children."